Ninjaland

There are at least 3 groups of people against whom Disneyland discriminates:

#1 - Muslim Women

#2 - Certain Facial Burn Victims

#3 - Ninjas

Notice a common theme? More on that later.

First, I want to re-cap our successful commemoration of "Day of the Ninja" yesterday. We chose to celebrate the holiday at Disneyland and had a great time. I need to explain that I've heard rumors that Disneyland frowns upon their adult patrons dressing up in costumes. This makes sense because suppose I were to spent the day dressed up as, oh, let's say Donald Duck. People would probably want to take pictures with me and this might really get on my nerves and eventually ruin my day. After all, I just came to go on the rides dressed as a duck, but every time I turn around kids are swarming me and the parents trying to get that perfect photo for the Christmas card. Aye, aye aye!! I'd then decide to demand my money back and get in a big argument with some poor window lady. Nobody wins. (I'm sure they have their other reasons as well, like maybe creepy old men dressing up as Tinkerbelle? There's a mental image you wanted.)

Therefore, I decided to attend the park as a double ninja: while on the rides I was a full-fledged ninja. Walking around, however, I was using the "blend-in" ninja technique and tried my best to look like a normal guy who happened to be wearing a ninja shirt. Success? You decide:


Now to my accusation that Disneyland allegedly discriminates. As soon as we got to the park we went straight to "Splash Mountain" and I got on within 5 minutes using the single-rider line (wahoo!) and got in the back seat.I was so excited to be showing my ninja pride that I considered doing something I've never done before: paying $15 for a stupid roller coaster photo. After boarding the ride, I frantically put on my ninja garb. This was going to be the coolest splash mountain picture EVAR! I tapped on the shoulder of the 12-year-old boy sitting in front of me and let him know how awesome the picture would be because I was dressed as a ninja! He said nothing and ignored me the rest of the ride. (He's probably had bad experiences with ninjas before.) I didn't care. I was still having the time of my life. When it came time for the big drop, I quickly located the camera and did my beast ninja pose - death stare and all! Boo-yeah. A couple minutes later we floated up to a large monitor that would display our photo. I was so excited for that family to get the surprise of their lives - they had been riding with a ninja all along and didn't even know it! What did I see instead?

This:

Oh Really? A digital photo washed away? Right. I quickly caught up with my family and vented for a while.

We continued with our ninja plans and went to "California Screamin" at the other end of the park. My wife was able to take these just before blast off:





This time the official roller coaster camera actually showed me all ninja-like. While Melissa and I were talking to each other deciding if it would be worth $15, the kind lady at the counter informed me that she actually wasn't allowed to sell me the picture. Here's the gist of the ensuing discussion:

Me: Really? Why not?
Her: Because your face can't be covered when you're on the ride.
Me: Oh, ok. I understand. But wait! (whispering) What about Muslims?
Her: What?
Me: (leaning in closer and whispering a little louder) What about MUSLIMS? You know, the women who can't expose their faces in public. What if they wanted to ride?
Her: Well they aren't allowed to ride this ride with anything covering their faces.
Me: REALLY? Even though that goes directly against their religious beliefs?
Her: Yeah, but you know, that issue has never come up the whole time I've been here. It hasn't happened at all in the past two years.
Me: (looking around) I guess you're right, I don't see too many of them here. Well next time I come here I'm going to bring all my Muslim girlfriends and we'll be in the news! (but I said this with a smile so as not to scare her)

So there you have it. No face-covering while on roller coasters at Disneyland. Because I don't consider the Buzz Lightyear ride a roller coaster, I figured the rule didn't apply and we were able to get these beauties (notice my little ninja-in-training):






Also, I was able to email myself the official Buzz Lightyear photo:

All things considered, this was my best "Day of the Ninja" yet.