Things I have recently grammed; instantly:

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Famous People I've met......in my dreams

Last nights dream with Amy Poehler sparked the idea for this post. It's meant to be updated as needed so check back from time to time. So far I can only think of three, but they were awesome dreams.

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi

That is the image from the helicopter shortly before this man's hideout was bombed and he was killed. When I saw the breaking news that he was dead, I rejoiced. You see, I never got over an incident between us a few months earlier (dreaming, of course). I was in the middle of nowhere and it was just me vs. him, mano e mano. Me with my wife's 9mm Glock, and him with his fully-automatic assult rifle. Not really fair, right? I did my best to shoot him while hiding behind a tree, but it was really difficult and eventually he killed me.

Amy Poehler

Last night me and her were running through the halls of an enormous mansion running away from a bad guy. I think we got away because he hadn't found us by the time I woke up.

Arnold Schwarzenegger


This was an awesome dream I had a few months back. I was in high school and had to choose one more class to fill up my schedule. The decision came down to three classes - a class about finances or something boring like that, a class about cross-stitching, and (wait for it) a class about dinosaurs taught by Arnold. I went in and talked to him about the class and he was so open and welcoming. In reality he was campaigning in for Governor at the time, and that's how all his ads were portraying him. Anyway, he was so cool I decided I had to take his dinosaur class.

Barry Bonds










I was in this pavilion area in Giants Stadium in S.F. and me and Barry were just tossing up baseballs and then hitting them as far as we could. We were both routinely hitting them out of the park. Pretty sweet.

Brian Westbrook













Update, Oct. 08: I was the single passenger on a great big barge trying to navigate a tricky turn in a canal that went through a city (I think it was Wurzburg) I was a dangerous criminal being sent to prison and had restraints on my arms. The barge ride was a little rough and even crashed into the walls of the canal, causing me to fall down. I made my way up to the front to figure out who was steering the thing. Yup, my currently injured fantasy running back was making my life difficult once again.

Kenny Rogers


When I started making noises in my sleep and then woke up, Melissa asked what was happening in my dream. This was shortly after we were married so she wasn't used to my sleeping habits yet. Anyway, I was having the time of my life singing backup to "The Gambler" on stage with Kenny. It was the last part of the song when he'd say "you go to know when to hold 'em" and I'd belt out "When to hold 'em!"

Paris Hilton


5/24/8 - I had a dream I was flying on top of a helicopter holding Jordan and we landed in a beautiful green valley with some rivers that looked like there might be some good fishing. We landed and went into an underground Disney theme park. Before they let us in we had to be processed which included standing in line for our turn in the showers. While we were waiting in the boys shower line, Paris Hilton and two friends showed up and insisted the girl ahead of them let them cut ahead. When the girl refused and Paris kept on insisting she get special treatment, I turned around and said to her, "Why don't you just shut the F up?" but yeah, I swore. She glared at me but I felt good about putting her in her place.

Seth MacFarlane and Drew Curtis

Update: A couple nights ago I remember that part of my dream was spent having lunch with the creator of The Family Guy and the founder of the popular website Fark.com. I don't remember anything we talked about, but we had a pleasant meal with a nice view.

Tila Tequila










There I was, standing on a street corner on a bright sunny morning. Tila was at work as a cashier and was having a really bad day because TMZ had shown something about her that made her look trashy (imagine that). I felt bad and decided to buy her some chocolates to cheer her up, but when I went to the candy store next door I was faced with a dilemma - my classmate Graig was the one working at the candy store (random) and I realized that if I bought a box of chocolates he would assume they were for my wife and next time he saw her he would say something about it and I'd be in the doghouse. I decided Tila was on her own.


Toni Parker, Eva Longoria, and Nicolette Sheridan

Back in the summer of 2005, when Melissa and I were dating, I had a dream I entered the NBA draft and was the #1 overall pick and went to the San Antonio Spurs. I was excited to finally be playing in the NBA and was getting along great with my new teammates. Before the season started, however, we had to attend a formal banquet which meant I needed a date. Melissa was still in Utah and couldn't make it there for the dinner so I decided to have my new buddy Tony Parker set me up with his (at the time) girlfriend's co-worker.

Another small plus to a career in dentistry


I used to wonder what would happen if I had allergies while I was working as a dentist - after all, how would you feel if your dentist kept sneezing while working on you? Well, yesterday and today I had the chance to find out. Something's in the air down here and I've been sniffling and sneezing like crazy - except while I'm working on the clinic! Apparently the mask filters out all the pollen or whatever is aggravating my allergies so I have 100% relief while I'm working. How neat.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Deadly dolphins

As many of you are aware, I married a die-hard Miami Dolphins fan. Hopefully this isn't a sign of things to come this fall. Unbelievable.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Go Nuts!

In 2005 when I was staying in a hotel in Rancho Cucamonga, I happened upon a schedule for the local minor league baseball team, the Quakes. That's when I discovered my latest favorite sports team, The Modesto Nuts. My love for this sports franchise stems from the fact that they have chosen the fiercest of fruits as the mascot. Yes, fruit.

From wikipedia: A nut in botany is a simple dry fruit with one seed (rarely two) in which the ovary wall becomes very hard (stony or woody) at maturity, and where the seed remains unattached or unfused with the ovary wall.

Told you it was fierce. This weekend I ordered myself a hat (shown below), so I can show my nut pride when the Modesto Nuts play the Inland Empire 66ers in San Bernardino July 8th-11th. I invite all local readers of this blog to join me and help support the nuts this July.


Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Whoops!

Here's an article about an oral surgery center in NY that apparently forgot about one of their patients when they were locking up for the evening. The patient woke up from surgery and was all alone in the dark, which was probably a little disconcerting. I actually thought the story was sort of amusing because obviously she was ok, although she was terrified and threw up a couple of times.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Movie Reviews: Juno

I had heard some good things about this movie and was interested in seeing it, but I was highly disappointed. There were so many things about this movie that just didn't sit well with me - from the father's somewhat nonchalant attitude about his teen daughter's pregnancy, to Dwight Schrute's quirky performance as the snappy and uniquely articulate convenience store clerk - the characters just didn't seem real. Perhaps what bothered me the most was everything about the personality of the main character Juno. It seems her overarching goal in life is to be cool and not let anything phase her. If there were anyone in my life that reminded me of Juno, I would most likely avoid this person because they would get on my nerves.
Recommendation: Don't see this movie, but if it's too late and you already have, you'll probably find this Mad TV skit pretty funny.

The baddest bike on the block


Partly because I'm poor, and partly because I'm awesome, I put 36 nails into my bike pedals this evening. Why? Because it was falling apart - and as the pioneer motto goes, "fix it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without". I put a new tube in the back tire and then I made a matrix of duct tape and nails to re-enforce the pedals. As I was creating my monster pedals I realized I would now be able to cruise the streets of dangerous Loma Linda without fear, because I have nails in my pedals - and that alone makes me pretty tough.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Smart Cars




When I lived in Germany from 2000-2002, I saw these all over the place and thought they were awesome! I never rode in one, but someone let me sit in his to take a picture. I took pictures whenever I saw one that was particularly eye-catching, like one that was camouflage or one that had flames on the side.



Recently I started seeing them here, which prompted me to go to wikipedia and brush up on my knowledge of the "smart" car. Some cool things I learned are that the concept was started by the swiss watch manufacturer Swatch (yup those awesome watches from the 80's), and that smart is an acronym for Swatch Mercedes ART. The reason I've began seeing them here is that the car was officially launched in the US in the first quarter of 2008. Most people see the car and wonder about safety, but the passengers are protected by a Tridion Safety Cell (that name alone makes me feel all secure and warm inside). There's no getting around the small "crumple zone" of the car, but the cage uses some of the same technology as Nascar to try to protect the occupants as much as possible. The flipside is that because the cage of the car is so strong, the occupants are subject to greater forces than in a conventional car.



I also learned that since I left Germany, the company has fallen on some hard times and even went three years without making a profit. You can get a new smart car for about $12,000, or an electric version for $35,000 - with a range of 120 miles on 6 hours of charging.

Friday, April 11, 2008

"It's like pulling teeth!"

I don't know who coined that phrase, but I bet it wasn't a dentist. I would imagine it came from a time before dentists and refers to people pulling their own teeth, without the use of anesthetic. In which case it would be a good phrase for describing difficult ordeals.

Personally, I haven't had much difficulty in "pulling teeth". (The quotes are because there's not really a lot of pulling involved - the better word choice is "extract"). There was one time when I had scheduled 2 hours to extract 3 teeth. I had the first two out in
10 or 15 minutes, but the last one was a canine which had previously had a root canal - for some reason this makes extraction much more difficult, but I couldn't tell you why. Additionally, the tooth was decayed down to the gumline which made it difficult to grip with the forceps, and the canine generally has a really long root, which gives it better anchorage for tearing. Anyway, on this particular occasion I didn't finish the procedure until 1:30, not the planned 12:00. That was the only time I really felt that I was in over my head on an extraction. I'm sure there will be more in the future, but I've had around 30 good extractions so far in my time as a student dentist.


Back to my original thought process - if it were a dentist who had coined the phrase, then instead of "pulling teeth" it would be something like this: "My oh my, trying to put Jordan's pajamas on tonight was like setting teeth". Setting teeth you ask? Yes, as in setting the teeth to the exact right location in a denture. This usually is a frustrating experience. This week I've spent about 10 hours outside of class and clinic time working on my first denture. The frustration lies in that I stay late in the lab until I think I'm finished and make the denture look all pretty and ready to be processed by the lab, and I take it to get a signature then next day and I'm told, "The front teeth need to be about a millimeter in." So I destroy the beautiful wax gums I have made in order to re-position the teeth, and then make it all pretty again. Repeated three times.

Alas, I fear I am ranting now so I'll stop. It wasn't really that bad of a week. I was able to get the denture turned in Thursday afternoon and we immediately went to Disneyland and spent time with the Hinks who are here vacationing this week. We had a lot of fun with them.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

April Fools

Not much of a prank this year, but I tried to convince Melissa that I'd been put on "probation" and wasn't allowed to see patients. In reality, finals was really tough this past quarter and roughly one-third of our class failed the lab final and are currently remediating. So anyway, Melissa was fully aware that it was a brutal finals week for me. On Tuesday I came home with the story that the administration had some security camera footage that makes it look like I was cheating on one of the written finals and so I'm on probationary status while they decide if they're going to kick me out or not. My acting skills were solid and I had her going the whole time I was explaining the story but as soon as I finished she thought about it for a second and realized I was April-fooling her.