Enter The Dental Ninja....

My blog has gone the way of the Beatles, the Beach Boys, Pink Flloyd, Led Zepplin, Guns 'n Roses, and the Smashing Pumpkins. It has split up.

The topics "Dentistry" and "Ninjutsu" decided they'd be better of forming their own blog, leaving this site to "journal," "movies," "politics," and "random." Mostly random.

Why? They say that in order to write a quality blog you need to picture your readers and focus on them. I found myself going back and forth between addressing two groups of readers: those who care what I do on my vacation and those who don't.

Enter The Dental Ninja. This blog will contain very little details of my personal life but will be a repository of the more amusing side of dentistry, mostly from the news. In fact, you should go there now to read the interesting account of a 3-year-old who injured 7 teeth in a failed attempt to get out of a cage. Gad Zooks!

PS, which entry page do you like more?

Ninjaland

There are at least 3 groups of people against whom Disneyland discriminates:

#1 - Muslim Women

#2 - Certain Facial Burn Victims

#3 - Ninjas

Notice a common theme? More on that later.

First, I want to re-cap our successful commemoration of "Day of the Ninja" yesterday. We chose to celebrate the holiday at Disneyland and had a great time. I need to explain that I've heard rumors that Disneyland frowns upon their adult patrons dressing up in costumes. This makes sense because suppose I were to spent the day dressed up as, oh, let's say Donald Duck. People would probably want to take pictures with me and this might really get on my nerves and eventually ruin my day. After all, I just came to go on the rides dressed as a duck, but every time I turn around kids are swarming me and the parents trying to get that perfect photo for the Christmas card. Aye, aye aye!! I'd then decide to demand my money back and get in a big argument with some poor window lady. Nobody wins. (I'm sure they have their other reasons as well, like maybe creepy old men dressing up as Tinkerbelle? There's a mental image you wanted.)

Therefore, I decided to attend the park as a double ninja: while on the rides I was a full-fledged ninja. Walking around, however, I was using the "blend-in" ninja technique and tried my best to look like a normal guy who happened to be wearing a ninja shirt. Success? You decide:


Now to my accusation that Disneyland allegedly discriminates. As soon as we got to the park we went straight to "Splash Mountain" and I got on within 5 minutes using the single-rider line (wahoo!) and got in the back seat.I was so excited to be showing my ninja pride that I considered doing something I've never done before: paying $15 for a stupid roller coaster photo. After boarding the ride, I frantically put on my ninja garb. This was going to be the coolest splash mountain picture EVAR! I tapped on the shoulder of the 12-year-old boy sitting in front of me and let him know how awesome the picture would be because I was dressed as a ninja! He said nothing and ignored me the rest of the ride. (He's probably had bad experiences with ninjas before.) I didn't care. I was still having the time of my life. When it came time for the big drop, I quickly located the camera and did my beast ninja pose - death stare and all! Boo-yeah. A couple minutes later we floated up to a large monitor that would display our photo. I was so excited for that family to get the surprise of their lives - they had been riding with a ninja all along and didn't even know it! What did I see instead?

This:

Oh Really? A digital photo washed away? Right. I quickly caught up with my family and vented for a while.

We continued with our ninja plans and went to "California Screamin" at the other end of the park. My wife was able to take these just before blast off:





This time the official roller coaster camera actually showed me all ninja-like. While Melissa and I were talking to each other deciding if it would be worth $15, the kind lady at the counter informed me that she actually wasn't allowed to sell me the picture. Here's the gist of the ensuing discussion:

Me: Really? Why not?
Her: Because your face can't be covered when you're on the ride.
Me: Oh, ok. I understand. But wait! (whispering) What about Muslims?
Her: What?
Me: (leaning in closer and whispering a little louder) What about MUSLIMS? You know, the women who can't expose their faces in public. What if they wanted to ride?
Her: Well they aren't allowed to ride this ride with anything covering their faces.
Me: REALLY? Even though that goes directly against their religious beliefs?
Her: Yeah, but you know, that issue has never come up the whole time I've been here. It hasn't happened at all in the past two years.
Me: (looking around) I guess you're right, I don't see too many of them here. Well next time I come here I'm going to bring all my Muslim girlfriends and we'll be in the news! (but I said this with a smile so as not to scare her)

So there you have it. No face-covering while on roller coasters at Disneyland. Because I don't consider the Buzz Lightyear ride a roller coaster, I figured the rule didn't apply and we were able to get these beauties (notice my little ninja-in-training):






Also, I was able to email myself the official Buzz Lightyear photo:

All things considered, this was my best "Day of the Ninja" yet.

Day of the Ninja

I've mentioned this a couple times already but now that "Day of the Ninja" is almost here, I thought I'd pass along a few ideas of how you might celebrate. Be sure to send photos or your ninja stories to me to be included in the Day of the Ninja Re-cap.

Ninja idea #1 - find a new hiding place in your home. Look around and think like a ninja. Then, when an unsuspecting family member or roommate wanders by, sneak up and scare them and kindly remind them that you could have killed them if you wanted to, so they owe you - big time.

Ninja idea #2 - Perfect the art of Ninja sneaking. Practice walking in such a way that your toes never lose contact with the ground. If you go slowly, this makes much less noise than regular walking because you won't step on any crunchy leaves or twigs.

Ninja idea #3 - Dress up like a ninja. No ninja clothes? Not to worry! Just grab an old t-shirt and follow these instructions. Or, try my makeshift method of just putting on a hoodie and tying a scarf around your head, like this:



FYI, you should know that ninjas don't always have to wear ninja suits. In ancient times, ninjas were known to dress as common farmers or peasants. When they're not out at night doing their ninja thing, ninjas often dress in such a way as to blend in with they're environment, like this guy:


See if you can find the ninja in this picture. Scroll down when you give up.


There he is:




(Tomorrow morning I plan on wearing light blue scrubs so I blend in with all the dental students around me.)

Ninja idea #4 - Using the makeshift ninja garb from idea #3, get out and be seen. I realize ninjas aren't supposed to be seen, but on the "Day of the Ninja" it's ok to make the world aware of your presence. Personally, I am inspired by this video and would probably do the same thing in the local parks if I weren't afraid someone would shoot me. I've got something else planned for tomorrow afternoon - check back in a few days.

Rhodesian Ridgebacks

One thing that helps me and Melissa get through dental school is to think (dream) about what the next stage of our life will be like. One thing I'm most looking forward to is having a backyard. Once we get a backyard, it only makes sense to get Jordan a puppy. I decided long ago that our first dog would be a Rhodesian Ridgeback. This video helped me convince Melissa it was a good idea:

And Jordan was on board once he saw this video of some puppies playing.

I first learned about these dogs when I met Jack, a Rhodesian Ridgeback living on a US army base in Germany. The funny thing is that I totally forgot the names of the family he lived with! Here are some fun facts about Ridgbacks, mostly from wikipedia:

• Another name for this breed is the "African Lion Hound." How cool is that?
• The distinguishing feature is a ridge of hair on it's back that runs opposite the rest of the coat. Thus, a ridge-back.
• They can be "aloof to strangers" but seriously, who among us isn't? He may not be much use against a burglar, but that's a decent trade-off for not annoying the neighbors.
• Ridgebacks posses a "sensitive side." This should come in handy on the weekends when I just want to watch a chick-flick but Melissa's too busy with her stupid football games.
• The breed originated in South Africa, just like Charlize Theron, but unlike Charlize Theron, the dogs were used in packs to hunt lions. They would keep the lions distracted while the hunter would make the kill.
• Ridgebacks have well-developed teeth. I have no idea what that means, but it sounds appropriate for the dog of a dentist.
  

Lastly, I'd like to remind you that this Friday is the 5th annual day of the ninja so make your plans now. Coolest ninja story gets a prize.

Christmas is Canceled

If I were in charge of America, today's headline would inform everyone that Christmas was canceled. I don't mean "in charge" like Barack Obama, I mean it like if I was America's father and America was my 9-year-old child. (On a totally unrelated note, when are the spell-checkers going to start recognizing the words "Barack" and "Obama?")

Why would I do such a heartless thing? Because of how disgusted I am with this story, which I'm sure you've already heard, where a 34-year-old New Jersey Wal-mart employee was trampled to death by eager customers. The article says "the exact cause of death has not been determined." Here's my guess - greed.

I read about this story just before heading out to do a little shopping at the Costco and it put a real damper on my day. The store was jam packed and people weren't really being considerate of each other. All I wanted was a hot dog.

Melissa and I agreed that if our children ever get too caught up in the selfish, materialistic aspects of Christmas, we'd have no problem doing a reality check and significantly limiting the gifts for the year, or "canceling" Christmas, if you will. This led me to reflect on my childhood Christmases and trying to remember the "stuff" I got. After trying for 5 minutes, I can remember:

1. A motorcycle track me and my brother got to share. I loved it because it had a loop-de-loop.

2. A trophy. Yup, as a child I asked for a trophy for Christmas. I remember walking around with my mom at the local D.I. (a second-hand shop) and looking at trophies. She convinced me that Santa's helpers were watching and that if I acted like I really liked one of them, they'd know which one I wanted. (She then convinced me the small silver baseball trophy was much cooler than the giant golden one).

3. A bicycle. I actually remember getting two. A BMX when I was little and a huffy mountain bike a few years later.

4. A radio.

5. Roller blades.

I'm sure if I really tried I could think of more things, but it would take some effort. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but I think Homer Simpson said it best when he said:

"...every time I learn something new, something old gets pushed out. Remember that time I took that home wine-making class, and I forgot how to drive?"

I think learning how to do root canals is what pushed out my Christmas memories. Stupid root canals.

My point is that after all these years I don't really remember much of the "stuff" I got. On the other hand, I will always cherish the traditions my family had. My parents were really good at helping us focus on those around us. I don't want to reveal too much about what we would do, but suffice it to say as a teenager I learned that the rush from sneaking around like a ninja doing secret nice things was just as fun as sneaking around doing mischief.

I feel bad writing such a negative post when many of my blogger friends are listing things they are grateful for. I am looking forward to Christmas and don't think all of American needs to have it canceled. Also, I can't lie, I'm really excited for the day when my children are older and I can enjoy the looks on their faces Christmas morning. Who knows, maybe all those people involved in the Wal-mart stampede were just so selflessly caught up in getting something nice for their children that they didn't realize they were trampling someone.

Probably not.

My next post will be about puppies.

Ninja cat!

Now that you know about my ninja obsession, I feel obligated to share with you the joys of "ninja cat." Watch it come closer without moving. He has truly mastered the art of stealth.

Ninjas

Something's been on my mind the last couple of days. Amidst all the political change we've just experienced and in a week when I've had 4 mock board exams (and one more tomorrow) as well as a couple big school events in the evenings, you'd wouldn't expect me to be thinking about this - but I think Hemingway* said it best when he penned the words, "Eventually, everyone needs to write about ninjas." For me, this time is now.

You see, anyone who knows me well is probably aware of the fact that I'm obsessed with ninjas. The seeds were planted in my childhood when, like every other boy at the time, I was a huge TMNT fan. Years and years later as I was enjoying my last real summer (the one right before dental school) my roommates and I invested in some ninja suits and spent several evenings at the secret ninja training grounds perfecting our art.

Today I read about a promising children's book that is supposed to promote equality and diversity. As I recently discussed, there are good ways and there are bad ways to go about teaching diversity. This book, called "Ninja, Cowboy, Bear" seems like a good way. In addition to celebrating the differences between the three creatures, it teaches a new game - basically paper-rock-scissors but more intense. (If you've ever wanted to play paper-rock-scissors online, click here - hours of fun).

However, there is one key flaw in the game, and subsequently the book. See if you pick up on it:




Did you catch the mistake? Go check again if you missed it. Here it is - somebody accidentally wrote "Bear beats Ninja" - can you believe it? Don't they have editors there?

I mean lets think about it for a second. Ninjas can beat cowboys - Ok, I don't think anyone can argue this one. The only possible exception might be John Wayne vs. a half of a ninja and only in the daytime.

Cowboy vs. Bear? I think this one could go either way. It probably depends on the conditions, weapons, age of cowboy, etc. Incidentally, if you ever find yourself in the position of the cowboy facing a real bear and you happen to have access to the internet and need advice, click here.

Ninja vs. Bear. We shouldn't even be talking about this. First of all, how is a bear ever going to find the ninja? Can you find the ninjas?


Keep trying. So far I've only found 2 ninjas and what might be a ninja's foot. How is a bear supposed to find them? The only way a ninja and bear would ever square off is if the ninja wanted it to happen, and in that case he would stealthily make his kill and hide the carcass so nobody would ever know about it.

Lastly, I want to share a news story my brother shared with me last year. It's from the Onion News Network, which is a lot like CNN or MSNBC but they do a lot more fact-checking so their stories are more reliable.** This story takes place in Modesto, CA, which (in case you forgot) is also home to the Nuts.


Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again

*Not Earnest Hemingway, but my imaginary friend, Dussa Hemingway.
**That's not true.