Introducing Crutch Boy: the Superhero with Crutches

At some point in every man's life, he needs to come up with his own original Superhero. This one is mine, loosely based on myself.


I first thought of this idea several years ago. For those of you who don't know me personally, I've been through a total of 5 knee surgeries. My condition is another story for another time, but suffice it to say it wasn't an injury and I currently have an important knee-part that used to belong to someone else. All but one of my surgeries required 6-8 weeks on crutches as well as a significant amount of time in physical therapy. At the age of 24, I had spent over 2% of my life on crutches.

Those of you who have had similar experiences can appreciate that crutches become an integral part of your life - almost an extension of you. They go with you everywhere you go, including your dreams. You learn to become an expert in using them not only for getting around, but for other things as well. On more than one occasion I've missed my crutches. One example is that with them I could easily reach the light switch from the bed. Without them I have to get up and take a few steps. This background should help you understand where I'm coming from with my superhero: Crutch Boy.

After jotting down my ideas, I quickly realized that I can't fit all the aspects of this hero into one post. For now I will introduce you to Crutch Boy's key feature: his crutches. You'll notice in the illustration above that with them, he can fly.

Here's a more detailed view of everything Crutch Boy's crutches allow him to do:



The colors are just for the illustration. They're actually much more discreet and look like any other set of crutches to the casual observer.

The two crutches are slightly different. Both are equipped with little rocket boosters that enable flight, as well as hollow chambers to store the jet fuel. The throttle is near the handle and responds roughly the same as the throttle on an ATV or dirt bike. Not just anybody can pick up these bad boys and fly - the control and balance require the upper body strength that only comes with having spent years walking around with crutches. Also, Crutch Boy has the option of using the jet fuel as a makeshift Rocket Propelled Grenade. He just has to swivel the end around so the rocket booster is facing him. He must use discretion in using this because once the RPG is gone, he obviously can't use that crutch for flying.

Both crutches also have a main weapon that fires a sort of souped-up tranquilizer. There isn't a needle - it works by blasting micro pellets into the skin like a shotgun to allow quicker absorption, but without doing any permanent damage. It instantly paralyzes the enemies (notice the irony) rendering them incapable of any movement for specified amount of time. One of the crutches also has a pop-out scope and is capable of firing long distance tranquilizer darts.

Both also have retractable claws. I'm sure they'll come in handy.

The main difference between the two crutches is the alternative weapon. One will be equipped with a compact version of the Long Range Acoustic Device (LRAD) and the other will have a mini Electro-Magnetic Pulse gun (EMP). Not sure what those are? Check out these videos from the Discovery Channel's "Future Weapons." Here is the LRAD demo and here is the EMP demo. Pretty flippin' sweet.

The LRAD (pronounced "el-rad") continues with the ironic weaponry theme. Set to a certain power, the noise becomes so excruciating that the enemy is forced to cover his ears with his hands, thus he essentially loses the use of his arms. This is also a really spiffy ninja weapon because it can cause sound waves to bounce of of nearby surfaces and thus Crutch Boy can confuse his enemy. It's like a really effective way of throwing your voice or any other sound effect. If you didn't click to watch the video, go back and do it because it's seriously awesome, as is just about everything else on the Discovery Channel.

I chose the EMP because it's 2009, and to be an effective thug, you need to have at least some technological savvy. Many of Crutch Boy's foes will rely on gadgets, and an EMP can disable any electronic gadget.

So there you have it! Stay tuned to learn more about Crutch Boy, including the story of his origin and a list of his arch-enemies. One of these days I'll even get around to writing specific episodes. Here are a few parting thoughts:

• Don't anybody steal my idea. All my blog followers are witnesses that I thought of it first.
  
• Feedback is welcome. Specifically, I don't really like the name "Crutch Boy" but I don't know what else to call him. Maybe the comments section can be a "name the Super-hero" contest. Winner gets a credit in the movie.
  
• If you couldn't already tell, I need an illustrator. This is an open invitation to anyone. Just contact me and we'll get to work on our first comic book. If not, I'll figure it out.