So there I was, in the kitchen trying to get two Pepsis my wife had put in the freezer for us 15 minutes earlier. She had warned me that one was probably going to fall out and I should be careful but did I listen? Nope. In fact, her warning totally went under my radar until I saw the blurry blue cylinder dropping towards my feet.
The very same second I heard the thump of the can hitting the ground, I was blinded by the sweet, sticky beverage which had wisely used it's first strike to take out my sight. Standing there with eyes closed, I felt a cool swath across both knees and thought, "Oh crap, this isn't over." Straining to see, I caught a glimpse of the can and the three Pepsi streams it had shooting in three different directions. Also, I knew that with my impaired vision I couldn't be sure, but the can appeared to be break-dancing.
After cleansing my eyes as thoroughly as one possibly can with the back of one's hand in .5 seconds, I dropped to the ground and apprehended the rogue Pepsi. After putting a halt to the spinning nonsense, I cupped my hand over the "business end" of my newly discovered enemy and ran it to the sink, where I learned that 50% of the content was still intact. The other 50% I discovered was evenly spread throughout the bathroom and kitchen. The whole incident took all of 3 seconds, but I spent the next 3 minutes assessing the casualties. The more places I looked, the more teeny tiny Pepsi spots I discovered. Ground zero had a diameter of 15 feet, and would have been even larger if we had a bigger kitchen.
All I wanted was a Pepsi.
